


My Pet Human

by MysticMedusa



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Baked Goods save the day, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Hydra (Marvel), Kidnapping, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Protective Loki, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9693452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticMedusa/pseuds/MysticMedusa
Summary: Loki is living on Midgard after his attack on New York. He decides he wants a pet but his a god and gods don't want a normal pet. Maybe the man who growls like a wolf would make a decent pet





	

Loki had been staying in Midgard since a month after his return to Asgard. Odin knew no prison could contain him so he’d been sentenced to remain in Midgard and only allowed to return to Asgard for special occasions and when his services were needed for the next decade. It wasn’t a long time for someone like him but Midgard was boring and he felt he needed something extra in his life. Perhaps he’d find a pet that would interest him. He’d heard that Midgard had a wide variety of animals they kept as pets.

He was still considering this as he returned to his home from the store. As he walked he heard a disturbance in a nearby alleyway and seeing as he was bored with no plans other than cooking dinner he decided to take a look.

He saw several dressed in dark clothing with various weapons corning a man with a metal arm. Curious he watched the metal armed man defeating his attackers but it was clear he was injured and would be subdued before long. Hearing the near animal like growl from the man Loki smiled. He’d doubted a mere cat or dog would entertain him as much as having a pet human.

“I would suggest you leave this man alone.” Loki said sending his groceries into his pocket dimension.

The group turned to him and one lifted their gun and tried to shoot him. Bullets had no effect on him as he slowly began walking towards the group.

“Why do you care what happens to him?” One asked realizing the bullet had simply bounded off him.

Loki grinned with eyes alight with mischief.

“Because this mortal has been chosen by the god of mischief to be his pet.”

They didn’t seem to believe him a god as they split their efforts between Loki and the man. Loki summoned a pair of his daggers and within moments there lay only corpses around him and the metal armed man.

“Now that’s settled, come my pet. I intend to take you home with me.”

The metal armed man let out another growl but Loki grabbed him and teleported them to his apartment.

“You are filthy and I will not have my pet tracking in dirt. Come, I shall bath you.”

The man tried to fight him but Loki was stronger as he pulled him into the large bathroom and began tearing off his blood and dirt covered clothes. He used his magic to turn on the shower and practically threw the metal armed man into the bath. He was still struggling as Loki used his hair products on the man. There was so much grease and dirt in his hair it took three washings with the shampoo before he could use the conditioner. The man seemed to realize there was no use fighting and accepted his fate of being bathed like a pet. He actually seemed to enjoy Loki’s long fingers messaging his temples.

“So what shall I call you my pet? You are the first pet I’ve had, Odin never allowed me to have one as a child even through Thor got to have a pet. He never cared for them though and all of them ended up dying. I wonder how often I have to feed you…”

The man looked up at him with a suspicious gaze before he let out a single word in barely a whisper, “James.”

Loki looked at him and saw the darkened expression on the man.

“I don’t like that name. My pet shall have a proper name fitting of a pet of a prince and god. What shall I name you…?”

There was a long silence as Loki continued to bath him but the man insisted on taking the scrubbing brush to do the rest himself which earned a slight glare from Loki. The god flicked him on the nose earning a glare back.

“Fierce eyes much like a wolf…yes I believe I shall call you Ulf, it means wolf man. You seem to growl much like a wolf or perhaps a feral cat. Stay here, I shall get you clothing.”

Loki got up and went to the bedroom to retrieve one of his tunics and a pair of pants. When he returned his pet was out of the shower drying off which made him flick his nose again.

“I said stay. Bad Ulf.”

The man glared at him but said nothing as clothing was held out to him. He picked up the old clothing and noticed the various weapons within the clothing.

“You may keep your weapons; I would never declaw my pet. When you’ve dressed come to the kitchen.”

He dropped the clothing in the trash before cleaning his hands and beginning to cook. He’d gotten chicken and was making a lemon garlic chicken with rice. He was almost done when his pet entered the kitchen and seeing his watchful gaze he knew he’d checked out the entire apartment.

“I am Loki, god of mischief and lies. I shall get you a collar later along with the other things you’ll need. I wouldn’t want you to get lost and no one know who to return you to.”

“Not a pet.”

Loki flicked his nose again.

“You are my pet and I shall care for you and feed you. No one will hurt you here but I will discipline you if need be. Now sit and eat.”

He served his pet’s food in a bowl and his on a plate. His pet eyed the bowl suspiciously.

“I have seen it common in Midgard that pets eat out of a bowl.”

His pet looked at him.

“Not a pet.”

“You are and I don’t intend to let my pet starve now eat.”

His pet eyed the food a while longer before he began eating. Loki smiled as he ate his own food. When they were finished he cleared the dishes with his magic which earned a suspicious look from his pet. He didn’t pay it much attention as he gathered blankets and spare pillows for his pet and set them out in the living room.

“You shall sleep here until I can make other arrangements. I am not to be disturbed at night. My magic protects this apartment so there is no human capable of entering here without my permission.”

With that he left his pet and entered his own bedroom.

 

~

 

Bucky didn’t know who Loki was but he was certain he was insane. Claiming to be a prince and a god was ridiculous but thinking he could keep another human as a pet was beyond crazy. He’d been stripped of his clothing and forced into a bath and bathed like an animal. He enjoyed being clean for the first time in a long time seeing as he’d been on the run from Hydra for a few months now. He was almost certain with his injury he’d end up being captured by Hydra again but Loki had saved him.

At some point during the bath his wound had healed though he wasn’t sure how when even with his own enhanced healing abilities he couldn’t have healed that quickly. When he’d been left alone to dress he’d put on the tunic which was just odd and searched the apartment. Whoever Loki was he enjoyed books and had no love of anything technology related. There was no phone, computer, or even a TV. He’d found an assortment of various daggers, staffs, and a few swords which was also odd but he wasn’t certain he could hide taking any of the weapons. He had his own so he left the weapons and made certain to be wary of Loki while he was within his home.

When he entered the kitchen Loki had his back to him but Bucky could tell the man wasn’t the type to ever drop his guard. He suspected the man was the type to go to bed early so he’d wait until he was asleep to make his escape. He disliked being called a pet and the odd name Loki called him was oddly better than the names that still felt foreign to him.

Loki set up a sleeping space on the floor for him which another thing fitting of a pet but he was a person. He waited until Loki was in his room and waited by his bedroom to hearing breathing even out. He went to the front door and found it wouldn’t open. Even with his enhanced strength he couldn’t open the door that didn’t seem to have a lock on it. He tried the windows but even they wouldn’t open. There wasn’t even a lock on them either. He looked back towards the bedroom before attempting to punch the front door. Even that didn’t work and he realized Loki hadn’t been lying about magic or at least had some hidden technology that put up some kind of force field to keep him trapped.

He paced considering his options. While Loki was clearly strong and could handle himself in a fight, the next time Hydra came for him they’d have more numbers and stronger weapons. He couldn’t stay in one place nor could he risk even the madman who was trying to keep him as a pet. He picked up the blanket off the floor and wrapped it around himself as he sat on the couch to think.

He shivered a bit having not been able to dry his hair and it was getting to be the colder seasons. He hated the cold. It reminded him of when they put him in cryo. He hugged the blanket tighter but it didn’t do enough to ease the horrible feeling of the cold.

He didn’t sleep not wanting to drop his guard in the strange place and with the cold he feared the nightmares it would bring. He had been having nightmares ever since he escaped Hydra. He would recall the Winter Soldier’s victims and there were so many he didn’t know if they were all real or not. He’d remember the pain of the wipes and it seemed there were no good memories left of James Barnes and only the nightmares of blood and death left from the Asset.

When the sun began peeking through the windows he carefully watched the bedroom door waiting for Loki to come out. He wasn’t sure how he would get out of there but maybe if he told him about just what kind of threat was coming he’d let him go. Even a madman would know to think of their own survival. He reconsidered that as he recalled the failed Hydra agents who took their own life with the cyanide pills. He might be screwed.

Hours passed and still nothing but his eyes never left the bedroom door until he heard the front door opening. He jumped to his feet knife in hand ready to fight the Hydra agents but instead Loki stood there with a bag from what looked like a pet store.

“So you’re like a guard dog. How cute that my pet thinks I need protecting.”

To shocked by how Loki had left without him realizing he didn’t think to run to leave until the door was already closed. Loki was humming as he went through the bag and pulled out a collar. It looked like a dog collar and appeared to be made of leather.

“I didn’t know how late you’d sleep so I thought I would just teleport to the pet store instead of waking you. I even got a name tag with my information to ensure if you’re lost you’re returned to me.”

Loki stepped closer to put the collar on and Bucky held the knife ready to strike. Loki wasn’t afraid as he moved forward and Bucky struck. The knife shattered when it made contact and Loki pushed him down while he attempted to put the collar on.

“No!” He said kicking which was more effective than his weapon.

“Don’t be stubborn. You’ll wear the collar Ulf. You are my pet and I shall have the world know it.”

Bucky glared and Loki glared right back. They stayed like that for a while before Loki sighed.

“Are you grumpy because I have not fed you yet?”

Loki didn’t seem to be looking for an answer from him as he pulled out several books from his bag. Among them was how to train your dog and how to train your cat. Apparently Loki wasn’t sure which applied to a pet human.

“I’m not a damn dog.”

Loki took this to mean he was a cat as he threw aside the how to train your dog book.

“I shall make breakfast and then I shall put the collar on.”

Bucky kept his distance but the smell of bacon drew his attention. Loki set out another bowl this time it had the name Ulf on the side. Bucky glared at Loki who ordered him to eat. He’d been given a serving of eggs and bacon but with the super soldier serum he had he needed more food. At this rate he’d starve. He ate the food but when he finished he looked hoping for seconds. Even while running from Hydra he hadn’t eaten enough and it was why he’d struggled to fight the ones that came after him this last time.

“You wish for seconds?”

Bucky eyed Loki but said nothing. Loki held out the collar.

“I’ll give you more food if you put the collar on.”

Bucky glared before he looked at the extra egg and bacon sitting in the pans.

“Fine.”

“Good Ulf.”

Loki put on the collar and after giving him seconds he petted Bucky. He didn’t complain because it oddly felt nice. When he finished eating the dishes were cleared the same way as the night before.

“So you can teleport whenever you want?”

Loki raised a brow as he paused on his way back to his room.

“Yes I can.”

He didn’t say anything else as he walked to his room. Bucky decided to work out a bit while Loki was in his room. He needed to stay in shape to be ready when Hydra found him. He was doing sit ups with Loki returned with a book in hand on the care of cats.

“It says you require shots, have you had yours?”

Bucky looked at him and saw the genuine concern in Loki’s eyes. He wondered if the man wasn’t insane but so lonely he would take in another human as a pet.

“Not a pet and no, serum makes me have no need.”

Loki raised a brow.

“Serum? Like the man out of time?”

Bucky didn’t know what he was talking about so he ignored him. He found himself being sprayed with water. He glared at Loki who was already waiting with his own glare as he held the spray bottle.

“If I ask a question you are to answer. I don’t like being ignored.”

Bucky went back to his seat only to be sprayed again.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Bucky finally snapped.

“The man out of time, Steve Rogers.”

Bucky winced at the name making Loki knell by his side as he grabbed his chin to make him look at him.

“Did he hurt you at some point? No one hurts what’s mine. Tell me and I shall make him suffer for what he’s done.”

Bucky felt an odd warmth at the concern but he shook his head.

“Didn’t hurt me…use to know him. Can’t remember.”

Loki searched his gaze and seemed to find what he was looking for as he sat down still close by but went back to the book on caring for cats. Bucky continued his work out while keeping an eye on Loki.

He found that Loki read pretty fast and while to the normal person he appeared relaxed and carefree he carried himself as someone just waiting for the knife to be planted in his back. Bucky was curious but not enough yet to ask. Half way through his workout Loki had returned to his room. When he finished his work out he went to Loki’s bedroom and saw him sitting there with one of his own books. The text within didn’t look like any language he knew or had ever seen.

“I’m going to shower.”

Loki looked up and saw how sweaty he was from his work out.

“I shall leave you a change of clothes on the counter.”

Bucky showered and wasn’t pleased to find he couldn’t hear or see Loki leave the clothing. It’s another tunic in the same dark green and the pants were the same black as the ones he’d been wearing before. He puts them on wanting normal clothing but he suspected he’d be asked something else in return for the request. He tests the doors and windows again but they’re still locked without any visible way of how.

Loki is still in his room reading and Bucky just sits on his floor studying him. The more information he has the better off he’ll be. Loki doesn’t even look at him as he reads but after finishing his book he looks at Bucky sitting there just staring at him.

“I seem to have been a poor pet owner, what would be good for you to entertain yourself with?”

Bucky stares at him a moment in silence. When he does decide to speak he says only one word.

“TV.”

If he was going to be stuck inside he could at least get some information of the outside world with the news. Loki seems to consider this for a moment.

“It would mean making another purchase and getting what do you mortals call it? Cable? I suppose I may grant this request. I shall return then.”

Loki closed his book and stood to leave.

“Can’t I go with you?”

Loki looked at him a moment.

“I do not recall cats being taken for walks and pets aren’t allowed in stores.”

Bucky glared at him.

“I’m a person not a damn pet.”

Again Loki magically summoned the spray bottle and got him.

“You will behave or no seconds on dinner tonight.”

With that Loki vanished making Bucky want to tear apart his books just to get back at him. He looks at the book left and notices it looks old but well taken care of. Loki who had nothing but his books and weapons probably took care of them. He decided against it and instead tried to escape again. Even the windows were protected and he glares at them until Loki returns. He has nothing with him but as he watches Loki seems to pull out an entertainment center and a TV out of nowhere. He also brings out a few bags of what looks like clothing.

“I got you clothes as well seeing as I doubt I will have enough clothes if you keep wearing mine.”

He held out the bags to Bucky and after a moment’s hesitation he takes them. He looks through them before looking up at Loki and giving a quick thank you which makes the god smile.

“You’re welcome Ulf. Were you good while I was away?”

Bucky said nothing but gave small nod. Loki hummed to himself as he went back to his room. Bucky went over to the TV and turned it on to find it already connected so he could watch the news. He suspected it was another thing done with magic. He sits and watches it until Loki comes out to make dinner.

“You didn’t put the clothes away.” Loki states making Bucky look at them.

“Where do I put them?”

Loki sighed.

“In the closet and dresser. I’ve left space in both for your clothing. I expect them to be kept neat, I don’t like messes.”

Bucky can’t argue with that. Far in the darker part of his mind he can’t quite recall he remembers someone else who would tell him to keep his things neat. He doesn’t know who it is but he does as he’s told and puts the clothes away. He doesn’t see any tags on the clothing but can tell they’re new. He almost thinks Loki doesn’t want him to know how much he spent on them.

He wonders for a moment where Loki works. He forgets this as he goes to the kitchen where Loki’s cooking. He sees various ingredients but doesn’t have much memory of real cooking so he doesn’t know what’s being made. He watches closely seeing nothing suspicious but notices how graceful Loki looks in all the things he does. Even cooking he has an elegance about him that isn’t normal.

When food is given to him in that bowl that seems to be designated as his due to the name on it he stares at it. He doesn’t know what he’s been given and he doesn’t want to eat something that he doesn’t know.

“I wanted to try something new. It’s something called Tofu.”

He picks up his fork and pokes the odd thing that Loki appeared to fry in a sauce of some kind. It’s matched with noodles and after Loki takes a bite he dares to take one. He should have waited as Loki’s face twists into one of disgust.

“This is terrible and the woman who recommended it deserves to be cut through.”

Bucky lets out a small chuckle as he agrees silently with him.

“Leave it, I shall order us something else. I’ve come to quite like your Midgardian food called pizza.”

Loki pulls out a phone from nowhere and dials. Bucky stares at it and listens as Loki orders two large pizzas. When they arrive the smell is so good it distracts him again from attempting to run. For a place he’s being held against his will he thinks it’s not so bad. He’s fed, given entertainment, and as far as he can tell it’s safe even from Hydra.

They eat at the kitchen table and when nothing remains of the pizza he realizes that Loki eats more than a normal person as well. He says nothing about this as he goes back to watch TV. He’s pushed off the couch by Loki and attempts to turn to glare at him but finds his head held in place and suddenly a brush is being used on his hair.

“It is a mess and I shall make sure my pet is groomed properly.”

He doesn’t like it but he couldn’t find a brush to use before so he stays silent. He watches the news and when Loki’s finished he turns and sees that it’s a pet brush. He again wonders if Loki is insane or just lonely.

When Loki has finished grooming him as he calls it he says his goodnights and Bucky stays up watching TV. Somewhere after midnight he falls asleep unable to stay up when he’d been running for a good few days without rest. He’s certain with the cold that shouldn’t make him shiver but it does anyways that he isn’t asleep long before he’s awake from a nightmare with a panic attack. He would normally thrash around but two strong arms are wrapped around him. He looks up hearing someone whispering comforting words to him. Two green eyes look back at him and he feels himself relax.

“You had a nightmare.”

“They’re normal…they get worse when I’m cold.”

Loki looks at the blanket that had been wrapped around him.

“It’s not enough.” Bucky says and Loki doesn’t say anything as he picks up Bucky with ease.

“Wha-”

“A pet shouldn’t be allowed on the furniture but I will make an exception at night.” Loki says before pulling him into his bed.

With Loki curled around him and the blanket pulled up its warm enough that Bucky doesn’t feel a single ounce of the cold. Loki’s breathing evens out as he sleeps and Bucky allows himself to fall asleep with the so called god curled around him.

 

~

 

Loki sat on the couch grooming his pet’s hair. It had been a week since he took in the mortal as his pet and he found he quite enjoyed having him there. Without his duties as prince, Thor attempting to drag him off to some annoying feast or hunt, or Odin playing favorites he found a sense of peace with his life in the apartment with his pet.

Normally he’d be doing some mischief to annoy one of the nobles who had badmouthed him or one of his family or doing some duties assigned to him as second prince. Instead he had a peaceful life where nothing was expected of him or forced upon him.

While he could make do with his magic to handle his needs he had taken up writing as his profession within Midgard. He had a way with words that allowed him to write best sellers and it had been easy enough to make up an identity for his writing. As he ran the pet brush through the wavy brown hair that felt soft with the use of his hair products he glanced at the book on the table. It was one of his and he had gotten it at his pet’s request when he learned of what he did for a living. He was still waiting to hear the review from his pet.

When he felt his pet tense he looked at the screen of the TV and saw the report of the battle going on that had required the avengers being called in. Steve had been hit but it wasn’t nearly enough to keep him down.

“You are worried about him?”

His pet didn’t take his eyes off the screen but he remained tense as he watched clearly fearing for the other mortal’s life. It appeared Doom had made another appearance and had with him a small army of robots. Loki wasn’t even certain how the avengers were suffering so against the faulty machinery.

“I asked you a question Ulf.”

His pet shot a look at him.

“I should be out there protecting Stevie.”

Loki was actually surprised by the nickname for the captain. His pet had not given him a nickname and somehow he felt a ping of jealousy for that.

“You must stay here Ulf.”

Loki looked at the screen and wondered if he could show his pet he was a good owner that could protect and care for him. He stood and summoned his daggers before he vanished from the apartment. He arrived by Steve’s side and while the captain thought him an enemy he struck down the nearest two doom bots. He threw his daggers at another two and with a quick flick of his hand called the daggers back to him. He remained by the captain’s side seeing as his pet was concerned about him. When the bots were dealt with Doom was nowhere in sight but Loki wasn’t concerned as he cleaned his daggers.

“Brother!” Thor’s voice boomed making Loki glare at him.

“I am not your brother.”

“Why the hell did you help us?” Clint asked suspicious.

“The battle was upsetting Ulf so I came to put an end to it.”

“Ulf?” Steve asked confused.

“Brother did you get a pet?”

Loki smiled.

“I did, he is quite interesting but he seems to not like such incidents.” Loki said waving his hand at the battlefield.

“Why are you back on earth?” Widow asked but Loki had enough of the discussion and teleported back to his apartment.

He was shocked when he was knocked to the ground as his pet hugged him.

“Ulf?”

“Thanks.” Came the tiny whisper from his pet.

He petted the soft brown hair of his pet and held him with his other arm. It wasn’t long before he moved away and turned on some kind of sports instead of the report of the battle. Loki was again reminded of a cat. He smirked as he summoned a pair of cat ears with his magic and put them on his pet.

Stormy blue eyes looked up at him but he didn’t argue. Loki noticed his pet was more inclined to do what he wanted if he did things for him. He smiled as he joined him in watching the sport.

“What is this called?”

“Baseball, use to like it I think.”

Loki continues to watch before he frowns.

“This is quite boring.”

His pet smiles.

“I was kind of thinking the same thing.”

He changes the channel to go through various different sports. They settle on football that seems to at least hold their attention. His pet speaks of the few memories he recalls and Loki realizes it is like a link to the old life to find a sport to watch but he struggles to see the point of such things. He mostly watches the news and having already been told he was kept as a weapon and assassin Loki understands it. His pet feels the need to gather information.

“You would have made a fine warrior in Asgard.”

His pet looks at him.

“Asgard…where you’re from?”

Loki nods.

“The realm eternal, home of the gods…not so much my home anymore. I still have to go when summoned. I am still nothing more than a relic to be used and stored away when I have no use.”

His pet looks saddened by this but it’s only a slight change in his expression.

“I know what that’s like.”

Loki looks at him.

“Reason I don’t like the cold is because I was put in cryo after each mission. Cold meant I had no use and that I would suffer. The wipes were painful.”

“I do not understand these wipes.”

“They erased my memories. Did a sort of reset on me so I was a blank slate just waiting for my next orders.”

Loki frowns at this. He doesn’t like that someone hurt his pet. He would have to deal with this Hydra later but for now he would enjoy his peace with his pet. With his increased trust in his pet he allows him go out for a morning run. He agrees to keep his collar on and per his request showers when he returns having become sweaty from his several hours out.

Several weeks after that Loki’s called to Asgard for some meeting. His pet agrees to remain inside during that time which eases some of Loki’s fears. He didn’t want to return to find someone had taken what was his. He leaves enough food for is pet and when he returns those stormy blue eyes look at him and realize something’s wrong.

“What happened?”

Loki sighs as he collapses onto his bed. A flesh and metal hand begin to rub his back when he uses his magic to strip away all but his pants because he wants to be comfortable in his home.

“Odin had me helping with a diplomacy issue with another realm…he is doing better and thanked me but Volstagg and the lady Sif still are quite irritated with me. I allowed them to talk me into training because I have been neglecting my training…they felt the need to show me I am beneath them.”

“You should take me with you next time. I’ll be your bodyguard and make sure no one hurts you.”

Loki looks at him a moment and smirks.

“Don’t you mean guard dog?”

His pet looks at him and gets an equally playful smile.

“Not a dog.”

“Ah yes of course not.” Loki says summoning his magic to make the cat ear headband appear on his pet again.

“Meow.” Comes the mono toned response.

Loki can’t help the laugh that comes next nor does he realize that his pet takes a liking to his laugh and would use the same meow to get a rise out of him. He’s decided he really likes his pet and such a short life for the mortal is unacceptable. When his pet prepares for bed he asks him about extending his life. Stormy blue eyes look at him before he looks down at the floor.

“How?”

“There are spells that would slow your aging. You would not live as long as I but you would last a good few hundred years or less if you wished the magic removed.”

“And you want to keep me around for a few hundred years?” His pet asks looking uncertain

“I like you Ulf and you are the first pet I’ve had so yes.”

His pet gives him a look and Loki knows his pet does not realize yet that he likes that look.

“Not a pet, if anything I’m your roommate.”

Loki pretends to consider it.

“Nope, you’re my pet Ulf and I shall keep you for as long as you allow me to.”

His pet doesn’t say anything about it but in the morning Loki wakes to find his pet no longer in bed. He panics as he rushes out of the room and finds his pet in the kitchen baking.

“What is this?” He asks picking up one of the things he’s made.

“Cookies, I wanted to bake and I noticed you like sweets. I’m going to use your weakness against you until I get upgraded from pet to roommate.”

Loki smirks.

“Oh that would be the most interesting way my weakness has been used against me. It’s a pity this is not such a weakness of mine otherwise you’d be-” He takes a bite and nearly dies at how delicious and sweet the cookies are.

“You were saying?”

Loki looks at his pet as he grabs a few more cookies and a cupcake.

“This proves nothing Ulf.”

He won’t admit defeat as he rushes from the kitchen with his stolen treats in hand. He would deny until the day he dies that he snuck several other treats with his magic when he was certain his pet had looked away. When he finds his pet standing in the doorway with a plateful of various baked goods he glares at him.

“I made them for you. You may be older than dirt but I grew up with the most stubborn punk on the planet, you can’t win.”

Loki takes the plate and says nothing. He won’t lose this game.

“Challenge accepted pet.”

Loki realizes in the weeks that follow that his pet may be fatten him up to eat him. The numbers of sweets increase and it’s only because he’s a god that he hasn’t needed to be rolled around yet. He won’t lose this game but he finds himself enjoying his time with his pet more.

A good few months into having his pet he makes a mistake. He exhausts his magic to the point he can’t keep up his glamour. His pet sees it and Loki reacts badly. Screams and demands he doesn’t look at him before storming to his room. It’s an hour later that the door cracks open and a tray is slid into the room before the door closes. He looks at it and sees his favorite cookies and a mug of hot chocolate. He’s supposed to take care of his pet yet his pet is taking care of him.

When he leaves the room with the tray in hand his hands tremble a bit as he walks out in his Jotun form. His pet looks up from the TV and smiles before patting the seat behind him on the couch.

“I’m watching some weird comedy. I don’t get most of the jokes but we can be confused together.”

Loki sits down enjoying the silence other than the short comedian calling himself Fluffy. He offers one of the cookies to his pet who doesn’t even hesitate to take the food from a monster. Before he pulls his hand away his pet takes it and places a gentle kiss on his palm. He doesn’t understand his pet but he’s thankful that he never asks about the form as though he is not different than he was before he discovered his true form.

It’s a week later as his pet gets ready for his daily run that he asks if Loki wants to join him. Loki shakes his head saying he would rather not impede on his personal time. His pet smiles and to his surprise kisses his cheek before he leaves. He does not understand his pet sometimes but he likes him.

Loki is reading when he notices that his pet his gone longer than normal. He stares at the clock that is an addition his pet had requested upon seeing it on TV. A Captain America clock and it shows that his pet has been gone a good thirty minutes longer than normal. He tries to trust his pet but as he reaches out with his magic for the collar that he placed his magic in to track it he curses as he realized it’s gone. It had to have been destroyed to no longer be in effect. His magic swirls within him and he starts to see red as he promises to tear apart whoever took his pet.

He goes searching for Hydra knowing they’re the most likely suspects. His pet had done well to hide his metal arm with hoodies and gloves but Loki had looked into Hydra to know they were at least resourceful. He arrived at the closest base and tore into it killing all within his path searching for his pet. He found nothing before he went to the next one repeating the process until he encountered one that showed surveillance of his pet on his morning runs.

He grabbed the nearest mortal and slammed him into the wall with a feral growl that had the man pissing himself.

“Where is he?”

“I-I don’t know…a team was sent out to retrieve him…”

“When?”

The man was trembling but Loki didn’t care. He wanted his pet and he wanted him now.

“I-I don’t know…I think the team reported the avengers got to him first but Hydra wanted their Asset.”

What Loki did to the shivering man would have left even the bravest of warriors with nightmares. His clothing and armor were coated in blood. Some was dry and some was fresh. His rage had made him lose track of time and as he searched the base for the date he found he’d been on a murder path for three days. His pet could be dead and it would be all his fault. He hadn’t cared for his pet properly and he should have gone with him.

He didn’t know if the avengers had his pet but he wasn’t going to leave any lead unchecked. He teleported to the tower directly to the common floor. Apparently the avengers were under attack by Hydra and Thor spotted him right away and froze at the sight of him.

Loki grabbed the nearest Hydra agent and slammed his head into the floor causing it to splatter under the force. He summoned his dagger slashing another in the back cutting straight through his spine and kicked with enough force that he flew clear across the room and out of giant windows of Stark’s tower.

“Where is he?!” He growled grabbing another agent.

“W-w-who?” The agent asked so frightened he pissed himself like the last guy.

“My pet that you were attempted to capture!”

The man was scared shitless and useless so Loki crushed his head between his hands not caring for the blood and brain matter on his hands. Thor was staying clear of him knowing he wasn’t to be messed with when he was like this. Widow and Clint had backed away from him as he went for another agent. This one lied to him having no idea what he was taking about. He ripped out his tongue and while he was choking on his own blood he force that tongue back down his throat before he tossed him across the room and through another window.

When there were no agents left he glared looking for a new target for his rage.

“Where is Ulf?!” He roared loudly his anger mixed with magic causing windows and lights to shatter.

“Brother we do not know where your pet is. If you give us time we’ll help you search.”

Loki glared at Thor making his brother shrink back.

“Whose blood are you coated in?” Widow asked attempting to keep her voice steady but her hand on her weapon trembled.

“Do not cross me little spider. I have heard your group stole my pet.”

“We don’t have your damn pet. What would we want with some mutt you picked up anyways?”

Loki began storming towards Clint but the elevator caught his attention and he turned to see Steve with his pet.

“Ulf!”

His pet rushed towards him not even minding the blood and carnage.

“You came for me.”

Loki held him tightly before he pulled back and looked at his pet’s neck.

“Where is your collar? You promised to wear it always. I could not track you and someone must have destroyed it to make me unable to track the magic I placed within it.”

His pet glared at Steve.

“He said I had Stockholm Syndrome and crushed it. I tried to say I had to go back home or else you’d worry.”

Loki glared at Steve.

“You ever touch Ulf again and you will suffer beyond what Hydra has at my hands.”

His pet looked up at him with a shocked expression.

“Did you search Hydra for me first?”

Loki nodded.

“I only saw red when I found you missing. For the past three days I believe I’ve been killing everyone within the Hydra bases I found. I am…not certain the numbers but I finally found a clue to your whereabouts…” He sees his pet looks a little unwell. “Did they not feed you Ulf?”

His pet looks away a bit embarrassed.

“Didn’t trust the food they gave me.”

Loki growls at Steve as he pulls his pet closer.

“We’re leaving.”

Brother-”

“Bucky-”

Both Steve’s and Thor’s voices are cut off as Loki takes his pet with him back to their home. He pushes his pet towards the bathroom but the mortal side steps.

“Shower while I cook food. Then we’re going to bed because I haven’t slept since Steve and his band of idiots captured me.”

Loki was beyond angry and he would deal with the avengers later but obeyed allowing his pet to order him around for once. He showered having to wash several times to clean himself of the blood and bits of what remained of some of his victims that had stuck to him. When left the bathroom he had only a towel around his waist which drew his pet’s attention. Stormy blue eyes rack over his entire form before a plate is held out to the god.

“Eat, it’s delicious.”

It’s a simple meal of pancakes but it tastes like heaven before he’s dragged off to bed. He holds his pet perhaps a bit too tightly as he falls asleep but there’s no complaint so he assumes his pet doesn’t mind.

When he wakes up he finds his pet had wrapped his arms around him at some point.

“Morning.” His pet whispers into his chest.

He looks at the time and finds it is indeed morning. They had slept quite a while but he’s comfortable so he doesn’t complain about sleeping so long.

“So that spell to keep me around a while…does it come with an upgrade from pet to roommate?”

Loki considers it a moment before he leans closer to whisper to his pet.

“No but there is a possibility to go from pet to lover/pet.”

His pet gives him a look.

“As long as you recognize my name isn’t actually Ulf.”

Loki frowns.

“You flinched when you said your name was James.”

Those beautiful stormy blue eyes look at him surprised.

“You named me Ulf because you saw I wasn’t comfortable with my own name?”

Loki said nothing but the arms around him tightened.

“Alright, so never losing the pet title but I’m ok with that. I demand a human brush though.”

“And I demand more cookies.”

His pet rolls his eyes before he gets out of bed.

“Cookies are not a meal but maybe if I’m promised a proper brush I’ll make breakfast with it.”

Loki considers it a moment.

“Very well, I shall get you a proper brush.”

When he returns he holds out a brush to his pet who looks up from where he’s cooking. He raises a brow as he looks at the grinning god.

“Why does this brush look like something you fancy gods would use?”

“Because it is something us fancy gods would use. I asked my mother for a few things and she was happy to send a few things my way.”

His pet sighs.

“I’m going to have to watch my wording with you constantly.”

Loki’s grin widens.

“Perhaps, I simply wanted to see how you would react. It has been quite entertaining.”

He grabs his breakfast but when he reaches for the cookies his hand is swatted away. He frowns at his pet who offers his own grin and now he realizes he shouldn’t have messed with his pet.

“These are a peace offering. I’m sure your brother misses you and I owe Stevie a good punch.”

Loki stares at the cookies before he looks up at his pet and smiles.

“I will need a recording of this punch otherwise I doubt I will think it anything but a pleasant dream.”

His pet grins as he wraps up his baked goods. Loki attempts to use his magic to steal one of the cookies but this time he’s sprayed with the water that he used on his pet a few times.

“Bad owner/boyfriend.”

Loki chuckled as he uses his magic to clean the mess of breakfast before teleporting them to the tower at his pet’s request. The AI alerts the avengers to their arrival and they arrive fully suited up.

“Brother.”

Loki holds up a finger as he pulls out his phone and sets it to record.

“Alright I’m ready.”

His pet rolls his eyes as he holds out the cookies to Thor.

“A peace offering from our family to yours.”

Then he walks over to Steve who looks relieved to see him until he’s punched in the face with a metal arm.

“That’s for kidnapping me you punk.”

“These are delicious.” Thor hums not seeing the issue with the sudden arrival of Loki and the winter soldier.

“Ah my love this is a marvelous day. I will be enjoying this video for years to come.”

His pet grins at him.

“I don’t like being kidnapped. Thor those are to share.”

Thor frowns at the plate of cookies he’d been hogging for himself.

“But there are so few.”

Loki snatches one.

“Get use to this Thor, he told me I couldn’t have any until we came here and you’re right. There’s too few and if no one else gets them now I’m stealing the rest.”

Loki frowns as he’s sprayed with water again because his pet apparently brought it with him.

“Bad owner/boyfriend.”

Loki smirks.

“This is payback for when I sprayed you for ignoring me isn’t it?”

His pet grinned.

“No actually it’s for asking me if I had my shots while reading a ‘how to care for your cat’ book.”

Clint now was full on laughing as he lowered his bow seeing Loki wasn’t a threat. Even the Widow seemed to smirk before she stole a cookie before Thor devoured them all. Tony was shaking his head while Steve looked completely confused. Bruce had already stolen a cookie and wondered off mumbling about bag of cat gods.

“I was trying to be a good owner.” Loki snapped his fingers making the cat ear headband appear on his pet’s head. “Plus you’re a good kitty.”

“Meow.” Came the monotone response.

“So the winter soldier tamed the bag of cats god. This is hilarious.”

Both Loki and his pet look at Tony.

“Meow.”

Loki chuckles again.

“So brother, I’m guessing you didn’t tell your comrades I was back in Midgard?”

Thor frowned as he reached for another cookie but they had been finished off quickly.

“I didn’t see a need to. You have behaved yourself as you promised. Why did you take in a human as your pet?”

Loki raised a brow.

“Why wouldn’t I? He was cornered and wounded but fought with the fierce nature fitting of a warrior of Asgard. I liked him and he’s better than a cat or a dog. Those are just boring.”

“Meow.”

Loki petted Bucky which he didn’t protest.

“Bucky are you seriously letting Loki keep you as a pet?”

Both looked at Steve.

“He is my lover but it is for humor only now that I call him my pet.”

“Why did you let him call you Ulf?” Clint asked confused.

“It’s his name for me, I didn’t respond well to other names while I was recovering.”

“So do you not want to be called Bucky anymore?” Steve asked looking like a kicked puppy.

“Punk you can call me Bucky, Loki’s helped me remember a lot so it’s fine.”

“Awe but Ulf is such a cute name.”

Stormy blue and green eyes glared at Clint.

“Only he gets to call me that.” Bucky growled.

Loki smirked as he ran his fingers through his pet’s hair.

“Brother will you be joining us and stop your evil ways?” Thor asked looking so hopeful several of the avengers looked heartbroken like they knew the response already.

“What do you think Ulf? Want to try being a hero for a while?”

That earned a curious look.

“Let me be your bodyguard when you go to Asgard and I’ll consider it doll.”

Loki smirked.

“Oh if only I had an older brother who would ask our father for me to bring my pet home with me.”

Thor brightened.

“I shall return brother with good news from father.”

Thor rushed off and Loki smiled as his pet elbowed him in the side.

“Don’t use your brother like that. Anyways I want to bake more so either Stark surrenders his kitchen willingly or this is a hostile takeover by a god and an assassin.”

Both looked in challenge at Tony.

“Go knock yourselves out, can you make anything besides cookies?”

Both smirked as they turned to the kitchen.

“Why do I feel like we just invited chaos into our ranks?” Steve asked a little worried.

“Because we kind of just did…god of chaos and lies after all.” Clint said seeming oddly ok with this with the promise of baked goods.

There was a long silence.

“Well shit.”

All eyes were on Steve.

“Holy crap Captain America just cursed.” Tony cheered slightly shocked.

Natasha smirked.

“I think I’m ok with this.”

**Author's Note:**

> It was an idea I had and I just had to write it. Don't judge me because I'm already judging myself. I regret nothing...maybe...


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